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Updated graph predicting how many games Freddy Sanchez will play in 2012

May 15, 2012

Sometime in March, Nerdy Nerd developed this little graph below predicting how many games Freddy Sanchez will play this season.

As usual, the pro-Baer blogger Crazy Crabbers was way off. After several setbacks and bad news regarding Freddy’s recovery, it’s time to update this puppy and break the bad news to all of you Giants fans.





May 15, 2012

Giants Acquire Big Bat at Trade Deadline

May 3, 2012

The Giants recently announced that they have acquired Pablo Sandoval to solidify the struggling offense in a blockbuster trade deadline move.

In 4-6 weeks the jovial hitter known as “The Kung Fu Panda” will be manning the hot corner for the Giants.

Giants manager Bruce Bochy was thrilled to hear about the news. “He’s an MVP type player, a guy that will really produce in the middle of the order,” he said at the press conference announcing the move.

Sandoval is expected to be slotted into the third spot of the order and play third base for the team during the stretch playoff run. Giants President Larry Baer thinks this is the type of move that can push the team over the top.

“Sandoval is a special player,” said Baer. “Brian Sabean really out did himself with this move. I am still in shock that he was able to get an All-Star player to help out this offense. This move should keep the Giants in contention all the way to the end.”

A FAKE Giants Fan

April 25, 2012

A true Giants fan doesn’t ever question the Giants front office (except when asking why Brett “the babe” Pill isn’t starting).

I don’t know how people like this can even consider watching baseball. You should just go put on your twirly hat and pocket protector and leave the real fan stuff to us real die hards.


Henry Schulman Sulia Madlibs

April 25, 2012

Joey Votto stared at Dan Otero a bit after getting hit by that pitch and tossing the ball back to the rookie, who ……

— Henry Schulman (@hankschulman)

… had changed into Cody Ross’s old rodeo clown costume and was running around the field distracting the umpires so the Giants fielders had time to run off the field safely.

The Giants just wasted a bases-loaded opportunity, but they at least forced Mat Latos to throw 37 pitches and drive …

— Henry Schulman (@hankschulman)

… the season ticket holders in the Diamond Club back to their cars after the game.

I don’t know how Mat Latos allowed eight runs to the Cardinals in his last start, but I’ll be he didn’t look like …

— Henry Schulman (@hankschulman)

… he was on the verge of confirming string theory either.

Perhaps the most impressive aspect of the Giants’ pitching in New York was how they shut down the Mets’ best and …

— Henry Schulman (@hankschulman)

… highest reviewed restaurant on Yelp. They just came in and started pointing out health violations left and right, the brutal efficiency that they showed was something to behold.

Tim Lincecum in the first inning against the Mets picked up where he left off against the Phillies. Fastballs …

— Henry Schulman (@hankschulman)

… change ups,  sliders, and occasional curve balls, I guess all that talk about switching repertoires with Barry Zito was just an unfounded rumor.

Giants win marathon game in 154 minutes!

April 19, 2012

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Brandon Belt starts = Giants Loss

April 16, 2012

Brandon Belt is a cancer to the Giants chances of winning.

With each start his lack of heart spreads and infects the rest of the brave Giants and slowly saps their grit and determination. His hard headed stubbornness undermines the selfless atmosphere that has been carefully nurtured by veterans like Aubrey Huff and Brian Wilson. Neither of these guys would ever put themselves above the team like Belt seems to do on a regular basis.

If the Giants want to have a shot at winning this year they need to get Brandon Belt out of the clubhouse quickly before his downer attitude and passive plate approach ooze into the pores of the true Giants causing a breakout of whiny strikeout machines with holes in their swings.

It’s time for the true Giants prospect Brett Pill to get his chance. Belt had his chance and the Giants went 0-4 in his starts and are 0 and 5 when he plays. There is no point spending more time on a loser.

It’s time to Free Belt… to pursue other career opportunities.